Drinking less, or not at all
Most lists stop at the drink. The drink is the easy part. Here's the rest: what to do at 6 p.m., where to go instead of a bar, what to say when someone hands you one, and which swaps are just a new crutch in a nicer glass.
Nobody drinks “in general”. You drink after work, at a party, when you're stressed or bored. Pick yours: what to do, what to sip, what to say, and the catch.
Most drinking is a habit with three parts. Keep the cue and the reward. Swap the middle.
Write down the three times you'd most want a drink. Those are the moments to plan for, not the whole week.[1]
Decide what you'll do at each of those times before it arrives. In the moment, the old routine always wins.[1]
Urges come on strong and fade, usually faster than you think. Delay, do something else, and let it pass.[1]
Telling friends and family you're cutting down gets you backup, and fewer people offering you one.[2]
If you're cutting back rather than quitting, choose your drink-free days in advance and stick to them.[2]
The first few weeks of a new routine feel like a costume. That's the habit noticing, not proof it isn't working.
Seven swaps, the same four questions each: what it is, why people like it, the catch, and who should skip it.
Beer or wine with the alcohol taken out. “Non-alcoholic” on a US label means under 0.5% alcohol by volume.[7][6]
SoberCocktails without the alcohol, or with spirits made to taste like gin, rum or whiskey.[6]
SoberSeltzer with citrus, hot or iced tea, kombucha.
SoberCans and powders with ashwagandha, L-theanine, mushrooms and friends.[8]
SoberA social root drink from Fiji, Vanuatu, Tonga and Samoa, poured into a shell at kava bars.[9]
SoberA leaf, not a root. Many kava bars serve it as a tea, hot or iced, sweetened or flavored.[10][11]
Not soberWant them ranked by how they feel, how fast and how long?Non-alcoholic drinks that actually relax you →
Kava solves two problems at once: something to drink and somewhere to go. A kava bar is a real bar, open all day, with nothing on the menu to get drunk on. The kavatender pours a shell, someone calls “Shells up!”, everyone says “Bula!” and drinks. Lots of bars have a First Time Guide: scan the code on the window or the bar and it walks you through your first shell.
WTF is a kava bar?Kava vs alcoholKava vs kratom
94 bars set their own first-timer Exclusive Deals. A few of them:
Exclusive DealFirst timeFreeKava Culture South Tampa
Free double shell (exclusions: Extracts, Specialty drinks, Other).
4820 S Himes Ave Suite 2, Tampa
Opens this deal in the free HappyKava app. No app yet? You'll get the download link.
Exclusive DealFirst timeFreeMad Hatters Kava Bar
One FREE 4oz shell of Unicorn 50/50 Kava
4685 28th St N, St. Petersburg
Opens this deal in the free HappyKava app. No app yet? You'll get the download link.
Exclusive DealFirst timeFreeKavasutra Kava Bar
One free kava shell
937 NE 62nd St, Fort Lauderdale
Opens this deal in the free HappyKava app. No app yet? You'll get the download link.
The first sip used to say “work's over”. These say it too.
Seltzer in the glass you'd use for wine, with ice and a slice. Sounds silly. Works for a lot of people.
Shoes off, shower, different clothes. Something that says work is over, which used to be the first sip's job.
Park farther away or walk the block. Ten minutes outside between the job and the couch.
Stop at a kava bar on the way home. Shells up, Bula, say hi to the regulars, home for dinner.
Chopping an onion is a decent stand-in for pouring a drink. Busy hands, and you get dinner out of it.
A pot of tea, a proper mug, ten minutes on the porch. Same time slot, slower ritual.
Trivia, a class, a game night. The Friday drink was partly a reward, so give yourself a new one to look forward to.
Staying home every night isn't the plan. Going somewhere with no drinking built in is.
A real bar with stools, music and regulars, and no alcohol on the menu. Open all day, many until late.
HappyKava has 776 kava bars that don't list alcohol, in 342 cities.
Good for: After work, Fridays, meeting people
The classic. Great in the morning and afternoon; most close early.
Good for: Catching up, working, first meetings
Something to do with your hands and your friends, and a reason to come back.
Good for: Groups, rainy days
A built-in crowd and built-in conversation. Plenty of run clubs end at a coffee shop now.
Good for: Mornings, making friends
Free or cheap, often with talks, clubs and late openings.
Good for: Solo time, slow afternoons
Alcohol-free dance parties, morning raves, sober-curious meetups. Search your city and you'll be surprised.
Good for: Going out-out, without the drink
The show is the activity. You're not there for the bar.
Good for: Date nights, big nights
The most kava bars without alcohol, by city:
Every kind of alcohol-free bar, and how to pick one:Alcohol-free bars →
You don't need new friends. You need a few new plans.
People default to drinks when nobody has a better idea. Have one: trivia Thursday, a hike, a kava bar.
Brunch, lunch, a morning walk. Daytime plans have less drinking built in.
Your place, your menu. Make a big pitcher of something good and nobody asks a thing.
You don't have to drop anyone. Show up for the thing, skip the after-party.
Sober meetups, run clubs, the regulars at a kava bar. The crowd's already there; you just walk in.
Your first night out without a drink can feel strange. For a lot of people it's normal by the third.
Borrow these. Short works better than a speech.
“I'm good, thanks.” And keep talking.
“I'm just not drinking right now.”
“Nope, still good.” Say it again. And again. It gets funnier.
“I'm in for the first round. I'll grab a soda.”
“Taking a break from it. Anyway, how's the new job?”
“What have you got without alcohol?”
“I'm on a strict no-hangover diet.”
“I don't drink anymore. It's been really good for me, and I'd love your support.”
You don't owe anyone your reasons. Share the why when you want to, if ever.
A one-liner and a change of subject ends it faster than a speech.
Someone who won't take no for an answer is telling you something about them, not you.
Two free ones from health agencies, a few popular apps, and meetings. None of them do the work for you; all of them make it easier to keep going.
From the US National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism: drink calculators, an urge tracker and tips for cutting back or quitting.[1]
Open Rethinking Drinking ↗The NHS's own app: pick your drink-free days and track them. Built for the UK, works anywhere.[3]
See the NHS app ↗Sober counter apps (I Am Sober is a popular free one) show your streak and the money you've saved. Some people love the streak; others find a slip feels worse with a number on it.
Paid apps such as Reframe and Sunnyside coach you to drink less or quit. Check the price before the free trial ends, and read the reviews.
AA, SMART Recovery and Recovery Dharma are free, with online and in-person meetings. Different styles, so try a couple.
Ours, so we're biased: kava bars near you, what's on today, check-ins and Exclusive Deals. Free.
Get the appFair question. Any swap can turn into the same habit with a new label. Here's the honest version.
NA beer and mocktails help some people drink less, but researchers worry the look and taste can set off cravings in people with alcohol use disorder.[6]
Kratom itself may be addictive, and regular users can get withdrawal symptoms when they stop. If you're swapping one habit for another, this is the one to watch.[10]
They're a high. That may be your call to make, but it isn't an alternative to being altered.[12]
Drink water, don't drive if you feel it, and never mix it with alcohol: kava with alcohol is one of the suspected causes of the rare liver problems linked to kava.[9]
A sweet mocktail every night is still a lot of sugar. Seltzer and tea are the boring winners.
Every few weeks, ask: is this getting bigger, am I hiding it, do I feel bad without it? If yes, talk to someone.
For the record: the World Health Organization says no amount of alcohol is safe for health, so a swap that means less alcohol is a step in the right direction.[5] We describe what these options are and what people report. We don't make health promises, and this page isn't medical advice.
Kava has no alcohol, and kava bars don't serve any. Kratom can be habit-forming, and THC drinks are a high. Whether it fits your recovery is your call, and your program's.
If you drink heavily every day, talk to a doctor before you stop suddenly. Alcohol withdrawal can be serious, even life-threatening, and a doctor can help you stop safely.[4]
Want to talk to someone? SAMHSA's National Helpline is free, confidential and open 24/7, in English and Spanish.[13]1-800-662-4357
The one that fits the moment you'd normally drink. For taste, NA beer or a mocktail. For something to crack open, sparkling water or tea. To actually feel relaxed with a clear head, kava. And for the habit itself, a new routine at the same time: a walk, a shower, a game, a kava bar after work.
Kava is the one people most often say they feel: a relaxed body and a clear head. Herbal tea is slower and gentler. Most adaptogen drinks do little for most people. Kratom tea and THC drinks are felt too, but kratom is habit-forming and THC drinks are a high, not sober.
Keep the reward and swap the routine. Mark the end of the workday (shoes off, a shower, a walk the long way home), eat something, and pour yourself something good in a real glass. Or stop at a kava bar on the way home for a shell and some company.
Some are just drinks: seltzer and tea are fine for nearly everyone. Others have catches: mocktails can be sugary, adaptogens can interact with medications, kratom is habit-forming, THC drinks impair you, and kava isn't for anyone pregnant, nursing or with liver problems. We describe them; we don't make health promises.
It helps some people and pulls others back. In the US, "non-alcoholic" can mean up to 0.5% alcohol, and the taste is a strong cue. If it makes you want the real thing, skip it. Whether it fits your recovery is your call, and your program's.
“I'm good, thanks,” then keep talking. If they ask why, “I'm just not drinking right now” is plenty. You don't owe anyone your reasons, and someone who keeps pushing is telling you about them, not you.
Kava bars (HappyKava has 776 that don't list alcohol), coffee shops, game cafes, climbing gyms and run clubs, bookstores and museums, live shows and sober events. Kava bars are the closest to a regular bar: stools, music, games and regulars, open all day.
For a lot of people, yes: it's a social root drink with a relaxed body and a clear head, and kava bars give you somewhere to go. It tastes like bitter earth, you may feel little the first time or two, and you should never mix it with alcohol. Skip it if you're pregnant, nursing or have liver problems.
Be careful. Kratom is a leaf, usually served as a tea, hot or iced and often sweetened or flavored. People say they feel it, but it's habit-forming and banned in some states. If you're in recovery from anything, it's the one on this list to skip.
If you drink heavily every day, talk to a doctor first. Alcohol withdrawal can be serious, even life-threatening, and a doctor can help you stop safely. If you need someone to talk to now, SAMHSA's National Helpline is free and open 24/7 at 1-800-662-4357.
Same time, new routine. A kava bar is open early, closes late and has nothing on the menu to get drunk on.
Bar counts and cities come from the HappyKava directory: kava bars whose listing doesn't mention alcohol. App names are examples, not endorsements; we aren't paid by any of them.
